Robin de Voh
writer, developer, nerd

Enums Anonymous

By Robin de Voh on 2020-04-16
$ composer require myclabs/php-enum
Using version ^1.7 for myclabs/php-enum
./composer.json has been updated
Loading composer repositories with package information
Updating dependencies (including require-dev)

Package operations: 1 install, 0 updates, 0 removals
  - Installing myclabs/php-enum (1.7.6): Loading from cache

Writing lock file
Generating autoload files

Robin sighed and hung his head low. This couldn't keep happening, it was time to do something.

"Welcome to Enums Anonymous, this is a safe place without judgment. We have a new member today. Robin, you want to go first?"

Robin got up, nodded to the others who had turned to look at him with faint, understanding smiles, and walked up towards the front of the room, where a small lectern was placed.

The moderator nodded as well and stepped out of the way. Robin took place behind the lectern and spoke into the microphone.

"Hi, err, my name is Robin, and..." he cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable admitting it, "I'm addicted to Enums."

The other people in the room applauded politely, and many of them nodded with an understanding look.

"Every time I start a new side project, I'll promise myself I won't use them, that I don't need them, that constants can do the same job."

He sighed.

"But within an hour, I'll composer require it anyway. I can't seem to stop doing it."

He paused for a bit, thoughts racing through his mind. His brow furrowed.

The moderator noticed and walked up to him, placing a hand gently on Robin's shoulder. He squeezed slightly.

"It's okay, you know, we've all been there. We can help you get over it."

Robin smiled faintly, only half-believing it was possible.

But doing something was better than doing nothing.

Nerdiest story I've ever written, I think. I expect maybe 6 people to get it. That's fine. It's interesting to combine my work and my fiction, actually.

Massively loving shout-out to MyCLabs Enum, an amazing library that has already helped me build so many cool things!